4 Do’s and Don’ts When Looking for Love via a Dating App

Entrepreneur using smart phone in office

Finding love on a dating app is challenging for most. I have spent years using various dating apps (Bumble, Match, Tinder, The League, Ok Cupid) both here in San Diego as well as the Bay Area. As a seasoned vet with a marketing background, I feel obligated to drop some knowledge and share my professional perspective on all things online dating related. Take heed as this advice may be free, but it is priceless.

You only have .5 seconds to make an impression, so make it count!

Please make sure your initial profile photo is the best snapped camera phone photo of you that has RECENTLY been taken. I can’t stress recently enough, not a pic of what you use to look like, a pic of what you look like if you were looking in a mirror today. Please adhere to the following guidelines for your profile pic:

  • NO bathroom selfies
  • No group pics (definitely not your initial pic but not more than one if you must)
  • No fuzzy, outdated photos (driving a point home clearly)
  • No pics of you kissing your pet on the mouth
  • No pics with sunglasses, a helmet, an emoji as your face, a mask…don’t hide your face!
  • No topless photos (we know you lift bro but it is not necessary to be shirtless)
  • No pics with just one person of the opposite sex (no one wants to see what you would look like as someone else’s bf or gf)

Timing is tricky

There is certainly a delicate balance of timing when it comes to online dating. I have tried messaging back and forth for weeks, waiting to see if he initiates an in-person meeting. If someone is truly interested in meeting in-person then they have 7 days to initiate or I pass. I have tried various approaches, attempting to meet with someone within 24-48 hours.  That’s when I realized I didn’t spend enough time ensuring this person is mentally sound. You don’t want to waste your time going back and forth too much but you also need to have enough dialogue to gauge mutual interest, so you can both feel comfortable meeting in person. Even showing up on time can show you how genuinely interested someone is in meeting you. I have found that most people who only want to message are either in unfulfilling relationships or do not look anything like their pics and are starving for attention.

Don’t take anything personally

I cannot stress this enough. Not only from my own experiences but from the hundreds of experiences I have heard from friends and clients. Do not take anything that is said or any lack of wanting to meet or flakiness personally. It is never you and it is always them. They are the ones pretending to be single, pretending to look differently than what they currently look like, pretending to be something they are not only to lead you on or manipulate you. The emotional toll of taking all these clowns and pretenders seriously is too heavy, especially if you aren’t able to dust it all off. You should go into this light heartedly and optimistically and with zero expectations. Do not put all of your finding love eggs into one online dating app basket.

First meeting/date destinations

You are ready to meet so what’s next? He suggests meeting at his place, she wants to meet at a fancy restaurant. People looking for love via dating apps have their own agenda and they are showing their cards every step of the way, you just have to be paying attention. If a man is suggesting you meet late night or at his place, he is most likely looking for some kind of casual interaction. If a female is looking to meet at a fancy restaurant, she most likely wants to make you president of her fan club. Pick a public destination where you can hold a conversation without having to shout or whisper to one another. If you decide to meet at a bar or brewery, keep the drinking at a minimum, 2 drinks max so that you’re not impaired and make a bad decision out of loneliness or longingness.

Want to meet someone unlike anyone you have met before? Reach out to me via my contact form on this website so I can hear more about the type of person you are looking for.

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