I can’t help but reflect as I embark on the 5th year of having my own matchmaking business. I have tried so many different approaches, events and various adventures helping other business professionals find everlasting love. I’ve held mixers, speed dating events, bonfires, wine tastings, intimate dinners, thrown parties, hosted yacht outings, singles yoga, hiking and sushi making; you name it and I have hosted it. Connecting so many individuals together over the years and having all this knowledge under my belt has taught me a thing or two that I am happy to share with you.
Do not force anything. You either have a gut feeling about someone or you don’t. It truly is that simple. It is perfectly alright to not feel anything for someone who looks good on paper or on a detailed profile description. A genuine connection can only be felt when a face to face connection is made. When a client has tried to force a connection, they have ultimately been disappointed. You either feel a strong connection or you feel nothing when you see that person for the first time.
Never settle for anything less than you deserve. Men and women both have a list of pros, cons and deal breakers. Some men won’t date women who have children. Some women won’t date men who have never been married. Whatever the deal breaker is, you deserve to have exactly what you want. You worked hard to get where you are currently and made many sacrifices to get there. You want someone who will appreciate the struggle, who can relate because they have had a similar path. You deserve to have someone in your life who understands and has also not settled in the process.
Let go of your past and be present and future minded. If I had a nickel for every time I had to hear about someone’s ex and all the awful things they did to them I would be a multi-millionaire. Your past is your past, leave it there. Be thankful for all the mistakes you made and the life lessons you learned the hard way, you grew from it all. Be present in today and have your eye on the future. Visualize exactly what you want from a partner and let go of what you don’t want or have previously experienced. Hone is on all the specific qualities and characteristics of that one person you have been saving your best for.
Be the best version of you always. Your looks may get you through the door but what is going to keep you inside? Let your personality shine through and just stick to being you. Don’t try to be something you are not because time reveals a person. Be kind, thoughtful and compassionate. Be reasonable, understanding and a listener. Learn how to effectively communicate exactly what you want and do not react to every single thing that happens. Take action and control when you can and let life fall into place when you can’t. Be flexible, let your guard down and be open to all possibilities.
There is one person out there who is going to appreciate you for being you; exactly as you are, the good and the bad, the pretty and the not so pretty. Work on yourself and do not get caught up feeling sorry for yourself or lonely. Get out and off the on-line dating apps and experience the real world. Join a group with co-ed people who share similar experiences and likes; hiking, football, surfing, gardening, reading, boating, whatever it is get together with others who enjoy the same activities. Work on letting go of whatever is holding you back however you can. I have read books, attended seminars and group events, participated in tournaments and weekly softball games, gone to the gym and worked on being the best version of me for me. If you would like to get together so I can hear more about you and what you are looking for in a potential spouse please feel free to reach out if you are in the San Diego area Colleen@NaturalSelectionSD.com