Why Are Great Men So Hard To Find in San Diego?

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I’m the biggest fan of San Diego. I love the weather, the craft beer, the beaches, the pockets of culture, the Padres & Gulls…I love it all! I started my matchmaking business once I returned home as my way of giving back to my city I love so dearly. What better way to give back to my community than bringing two dynamic individuals together so they can build a lifelong foundation, flourish and grow their family here, where they found love.

I’ve had Natural Selection Matchmaking for over 5 years now. I’ve heard hundreds of online dating horror stories, mostly from females. Stories about men doing group dates to Kaboo, like they are on The Bachelor. Countless stories about online dating tomfoolery; men shorter, balder, missing teeth when they show up in person. Married men or men in committed relationships looking for someone to complement their harem. The level of deceit when it comes to online dating is disheartening to say the least.

The one constant I can confirm is that great men are hard to find. The window of opportunity for finding this rare breed of honest, hardworking, educated, attractive males is so small it often closes before it even opens. When a great catch becomes single again there is usually a woman patiently waiting to make her move or perhaps already planting seeds before his exit.

In my opinion, there a couple of reasons for this. Men who marry young typically do not want to be single, left to fend for themselves. If they are going to leave a failed marriage, 9 times out of 10 they are going to have an option B already lined up. And in the rare case that they don’t have an option already waiting, I guarantee there is a female who is just waiting to make her move.

Divorced men can be great catches if they learned from their mistakes. I used to think that as long as they didn’t cheat they could be repackaged. I was wrong, if a man was cheated on by his wife there is typically a 3-year cooling off period. He needs this time to get mentally healthy again, to heal and learn for himself that not all women are evil, heart wrenching harlots. I like that these men once took a leap of faith, I believe that time can heal all wounds and that these men can be great again.

What about men who have never been married? Let’s say a male makes it to his 40’s and hasn’t been married. Some of these men will never get married. Their issues with marriage could stem from childhood like his parents divorcing or involve unhappy friends telling them never to do it; either way they are most likely damaged goods. The older they get the more set in their ways they become. Most of these men want women significantly younger than them, and as they go up in age the age of the women they are attracted to goes down. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve noticed this in Rancho Santa Fe and La Jolla.

Speaking of neighborhoods, I noticed that smaller communities like Ramona and Poway often recycle love. High school sweethearts who divorce swapping couples like keys at a swinger’s party. Going back in time and reminiscing about young love gets you all in the feels but are those feels real? No. Reconnecting via Facebook messenger may be great for some but in my opinion, you need a fresh start. Otherwise you are likely to repeat the same patterns of behavior that led to your previous marriage’s demise.

Men with a higher net worth can be the worse. They flaunt and brag about their money, dangling it in front of you on a first date. This isn’t an interview to broaden my portfolio, no self-sufficient woman cares about your millions of dollars. I had a client share a story about a man claiming his 6-million-dollar net worth, who was just shy of 60 and had two young daughters under the age of 10, basically looking for a new wife to help nurture his children. Sounds like he needs a nanny not a significant other. Trust me ladies when I say that you will end up paying a price for chasing dollar signs one way or another, it’s just the way the universe works.

I understand that here in San Diego there are significantly more females than males and with the plethora of amazon like blondes there is no shortage of eligible bachelorettes. But I remain optimistic in my search for great men for my phenomenal female clients. If you know of any eligible bachelors who are between the ages of 30 and 55 and you cannot believe they are still single please submit a contact form on my website or message me via Facebook. I promise to handle with care. If you are one of these unicorns (gentlemen) please fill one out so I can reach out to you to see what kind of leading lady floats your boat.

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